brokenroad

The Broken Road

I moved back to Nashville two years ago today… Thursday, October 30, 2008.  I was on the back-end of a season of my life that ended much differently than I thought it would. This particular season concluded with me staying with a friend in Dallas for 2 months, while all my stuff was in storage in Houston, tyring to figure out what was next for me.

I still vividly remember the series of events that led to my decision to return to Nashville… every lunch meeting, every phone call, every serendipitous and seemingly chance encounter and conversation… they all remain fresh.

Standing where I do now and reflecting, I know that my decision to move back to Nashville, after spending the previous almost 4 years in Texas, was driven primarily by my fear of failure and the idolatry of success and approval in my heart.  I didn’t know who to be apart from what I had been a part of. I had been “somebody” and had to keep the momentum going.  I am thankful for everything I was able to be a part of in my music industry career, but I am not proud of who I became as a result.  I know that while my professional ambitions may have had my heart scribbling notes of perceived significance, God was writing a greater story all the while, allowing me to walk a broken road and find Him.

After 16 hours on the road, I pulled into Nashville late in the evening of October 30, 2008 with a U-Haul filled with all my stuff and a heart filled with the hope that this would be my chance to really find and prove myself.

Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. – Proverbs 19:21

What I didn’t realize then was that in all my attempts to “find myself”, I actually lost myself. It has only been through the breaking and reconstructing of my heart this year that I discovered God in a way I never had before, and as a result I found that I could let go of who I thought I had to be.  Once I started learning how to let that go, I began to discover who I really was and how prone my heart is to bow to anything but Jesus.

If you grasp and cling to life on your terms, you’ll lose it. But if you let that life go, you’ll get life on God’s terms. – Luke 17:33

My journey looks nothing like what I thought it would, but I am thankful for every single broken, fearful, uncertain moment that has forced me to wrestle with my heart and fight for my identity. God bless the broken road, indeed.

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Grant JenkinsThe Broken Road
16 comments
@devotionaldiva
@devotionaldiva

Grant, I know this feeling. It's been a year now since I moved home and quit my job. My search to find significance has changed into what God wants for me. It's when we die to our desires of the flesh that we find our spirit soars. Thanks for being so open and honest. A refreshing well of encouragement! You are amazing.

MaurilioAmorim
MaurilioAmorim

Really enjoyed your post. Thank you for your transparency. I'm glad you're serving at Cross Point.

Jim Marr
Jim Marr

I see myself at a much later phase in my life facing a transition and it was inspiring to read about some of your journey. I pray that the past that I've written will not be all there is. I know God is so faithful to fulfill His plans for that hope and a future He has for each of us. OK, Lord, next step please.... :)
Blessings,
Jim
My recent post Hello world!

amy
amy

I'm on that broken road right now. I'm trying so hard o get to the end but I know that god is waiting at the end of it. I just have to keep on. Thanks for sharing.

Leigh
Leigh

The broken road, while painful, inevitably leads to more than I could ever ask or imagine. While I wouldn't wish to repeat some of those difficult times, I know I would have otherwise missed out on valuable lessons and, in some cases, blessings.
My recent post Savoring Bittersweet

ineffablegod
ineffablegod

I needed to read this tonight bro....I'm about to enter a crossroads in my life per say, and I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing/where I'm going. Thanks for giving me that quick reminder through glimpses of your own journey, that no matter how uncomfortable it may seem, God knows absolutely what He's doing and that He is always faithful.

Makeda
Makeda

As always I love this post. It has been such an honor to be able to share your story even if it is from a distance. You have shown such courage and integrity in this journey and God has and will continue to honor the heart that is willing to surrender to Him. I pray that God will continue to reveal Himself to you in unexpected ways in this new season of your life. I have no doubt that the best is yet to come for you and that what God has for you, will blow you away. Sending you much love from the Carolinas.

Lexi MacKinnon
Lexi MacKinnon

Love it! God is always so faithful to guide us down the road he has for us! =)

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