It has been close to a year since I have blogged with any kind of consistency. Since then, a lot has happened.
About a year ago, I experienced what writers and storytellers call an “inciting event.” According to Suite 101, an inciting event is:
…the moment or plot point in a script that kicks the story into motion. It occurs after the set up or exposition and everything that follows the inciting incident should be a result of the inciting incident. It is where a story really begins.
It is that moment in the script where the protagonist’s world is turned upside down and he/she must then set about resolving the change in circumstances that the incident has brought about. It is generally a clear and defined moment that is easily identifiable.
Characters don’t change without being forced to change. An inciting incident is the event in a movie that causes upheaval in the protagonist life. The protagonist, then, naturally seeks to return to stability. And in order to do that, he HAS to solve his new problem.
It was during this time that I was introduced to the ministry of Timothy Keller, pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church in New York City, and particularly his teachings on idolatry in our hearts and culture. Between his messages on idolatry, followed by the October ’09 release of his book “Counterfeit Gods”, which digs much deeper into the heart of idolatry, God pretty much wrecked my life and my heart. The past few months in particular have brought with them a systematic deconstructing of so much stuff that I had given inordinate place in my heart to.
“The human heart is indeed a factory that mass-produces idols.”
Wow. That’s why. Every single day I am learning to be more and more aware and in tune with what my heart is prone to, choosing to lay those things at the cross and looking to Christ as my ultimate source of worth, acceptance and identity.
“I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.” – Ezekiel 36:26
This is the single most painful yet beautiful experience I’ve ever walked through. I have changed… a lot. I have let go… of a lot. I’ve been learning a lot and I’ve been unlearning a lot. I’ve been experiencing what it means to let go and also what it means to pursue. I am still very much in the middle of this journey, but I’ve finally come to a place where I’m ready to talk about it to more than just my core group of close friends who have been walking through this with me.
An Idol Heart.
This is me.