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Observations Of A Transition

This is how I feel right now.

It is 2:00am and I cannot sleep.

So I’m writing.

Observations of a transition…

… you swing and you swing…

… gripping tight, your focus forward…

… your mind calculating every moment…

… the next second, as close as your breath yet as far as the moon…

… but always just out of reach, for sure…

… so you swing…

… and wait…

… and swing…

… and wait…

… knowing the moment is coming…

… when you’ll let go of what brought you here…

… what you’ve been holding on to…

… knowing you can’t fully grasp what’s next with hands full of what’s been….

… you know you have to jump…

… so you do…

… your heart pounds as you let go…

… the instant your fingers leave the bar, reality hits you…

… you can never go back…

… you can’t tell if you’re stuck or flying because it feels like both…

… nothing holding you…

… yet something pulling you…

… you know you’re about to be caught…

… you think you’re about to be caught…

… but right now…

… at this exact moment in time…

… the clock stops…

… the crowd goes quiet…

… the silence, deafening…

… your breath escapes you…

… and there you are…

… suspended by hope…

… in the middle…

My friends, I don’t feel that I have already arrived. But I forget what is behind, and I reach forward for what is ahead. – Philippians 3:12

 

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Grant JenkinsObservations Of A Transition
25 comments
@taylor_ray82
@taylor_ray82

Don't you love those 2am writings. I've posted many of those on my blogs myself. Have to write it out whether on blog or in journal just to empty your head enough to get some sleep

Welcome to the middle my friend, I've been here a long time. Listen to U2's Caught in a Moment dude.

Brandi
Brandi

"… you can’t tell if you’re stuck or flying because it feels like both…"

yes. yes. and yes.
thanks for putting words to my life lately.
My recent post my grandpa’s socks.

JasonWert
JasonWert

Dude...if that's what was in your head no wonder you couldn't sleep!
My recent post Follow Friday: The Musical!

Ani
Ani

Wow, how you can express yourself. It's amazing. I read your blogs and I'm amazed. An Idol Heart, there is so much honesty, purity and truth in that heart. I couldn't do what you do, to open yourself like that to people.

Today I went to a conference and it was uplifting. We sang "Majesty" by Delirious. I would like to share the lyrics. It's so beautiful and honest too.

Here I am humbled by your Majesty
Covered by your grace so free
Here I am, knowing I'm a sinful man
Covered by the blood of the Lamb

Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since you laid down your life
The greatest sacrifice

Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed, but alive in your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by your love
In the presence of your Majesty

Here I am humbled by the love that you give
Forgiven so that I can forgive
Here I stand, knowing that I'm your desire
Sanctified by glory and fire

I heard today on the conference that what ever you do, where ever you are, what ever you feel He still loves you. I also believe that even the darkest most unclean thoughts or unconfessed secrets nothing can seperate you from His Love.
Have a great weekend soaked in His grace and love.

Kathi Waddle
Kathi Waddle

I totally relate Grant. I am right there with you. Although part of mine involves no car thanks to my car accident on Thursday and I am not sure how things are going to turn out. The ride got a little wild on the great faith adventure.
My recent post Cars Suck Sometimes

Nick Maestas
Nick Maestas

faith is one of the most crucial parts of being followers of Jesus Christ. Heb 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. while we can't see him swinging on the other side-what makes faith so awesome-is that we know He will be there. Awesome read man. thanks for this!
My recent post He loves like a hurricane and I am a tree

Nick Maestas
Nick Maestas

faith is one of the most crucial parts of being followers of Jesus Christ. Heb 11:1 Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. while we can't see him swinging on the other side-what makes faith so awesome-is that we know He will be there. Awesome read man. thanks for this!
My recent post He loves like a hurricane and I am a tree

jennyrain
jennyrain

great visual... totally been there... that time when you are flying from one rope swing to the other...sometimes it can feel endless... like you are suspended forever. But then when you are caught... you look back and realize that it was just a nanosecond... no more, no less, just enough time to get you from one place to the next :)
My recent post Friday Favorites: Round 2

Allison
Allison

You are fixin' to grab on to beautiful peace my friend. (If I may call you that) You have once again brilliantly painted a perfect picture.You are walking on water. I know that feeling of no turning back. Just keep your eyes on Jesus. I have found that when I look for my "final destination" I lose focus and start sinking. Thank goodness He is there to keep me from going under. Don't worry about where you are going because how freaking awesome is it that you are walking on water??!!! That is the coolest thing ever. I hope you were able to rest. Have a great Saturday!

JuliaKate
JuliaKate

There are some nights when the middle is a rush... A pure adrenaline high. And then there are nights like tonight when "my breath escapes me", I want to shut my eyes, but I can't, and I panic "oh God oh God" and continue the glide. Whether I fall or catch on for the next fancy leap, I must continue... There's no turning back.
Now I will try to sleep. Thank u for the picture, the scripture, & for sharing hope.

patricia
patricia

He'll be there to catch you :)

Goodnight!

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

thanks Brandi. Sometimes it helps just to know you're not the only one.

JD in Canada
JD in Canada

Ditto Jason, sleep wouldn't have found me either.

I love the feeling of the writing processt brewing and percolating like a word snowstorm for weeks, and seeing it finally settle into place in God's time, watching the words unfold as though they were not our own, surprising us, but being totally what we had on our hearts to say......

I love that, and I love to free fall into Him, relentlessly.

With God, who needs a rush of anything else? ;)

Not as elegant as yours, but here is a similar post to this one:
http://compassioncan.blogspot.com/2010/04/freefal...
My recent post In His Time

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

um, yeah... pretty much. :) Actually, that has been in my head and heart for weeks, I just hadn't been able to actually get the words out to articulate how I felt... until the middle of a restless night, then the words came. Thanks dude.

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

Ani, thank you so much for your kind words and for the encouragement. I love that song by Delirious.

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

wow, Kathi. Hope you're alright and aren't car-less for long.

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

thanks bro, I appreciate it. Love Hebrews 11:1 If we could see, it wouldn't be faith.

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

wow. I've been doing that a lot lately, huh? :)

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

Thanks Jenny. Part of me doesn't want it to end because of how I know I'm changing, but part of me wants it to be over like, last week.

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

Hi Allison! Of course you may call me friend. :) Thank you so much for reading the blog, commenting and for the encouragement. I really appreciate it.

Grant Jenkins
Grant Jenkins

you're right. sometimes it is. Friday night wasn't adrenaline... it was, well, it was anything but adrenaline. I'm thankful for perspective.

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